The Perfect Balance

After spending the first 18 years of my life in American secular society, I followed it with 6 years in a spiritually Jewish setting in yeshiva, 2 of them in Jerusalem. I lived in an area of Jerusalem that saw religious Jews sequestered in their own areas, happy to live apart from secular society. Down the road there was Ben Yehuda street where the "fun" was to be had (for all of you who've been :) Our school was located directly in between the 2 areas, and I always perceived our role (as American college kids delving into our heritage) as the bridge between the 2 "societies", showing that Judaism is an amazing gift that can be enjoyed by every Jew on their level.

But spending lots of time around the ultra orthodox Jews (who seemed pretty happy) made me wonder: Was this the ideal way for a Jew to live? Cut off from "secular" society and busy with serving G-d and hanging out just with his people? It just didn't feel natural or right to me. This is not to say that one way was right, but what was the right way for me personally to love?

The answer, like many of our existential questions about life, can be found in the Torah. This week's Torah portion is called "Chayei Sarah" - The life of Sarah. While Avraham was the father of Issac and the future Jewish people, he was also the father of many nations. Today he is honored by at least 3 major religions (some say the main god brahman of Hinduism is merely a restructuring of the letters to Avraham's name, but that's for another email). Sarah, on the other hand, was only the mother of Issac & the Jewish nation. When Avraham's other son Ishmael was having a negative influence on her son Issac, Sarah came forward and asked Avraham to kick him out of their house. Avraham didn't know what to do, until G-d Spoke to him, telling him to "listen to your wife Sarah." (A lesson to future husbands forever yonder ;)

We see an interesting and important difference of spirit between Avraham and Sarah, that complimented one another. Avraham was about pure love, emphasizing involvement in the world and fixing the world. He is known in Torah as "Av Hamon Goyim" - the father of many nations. Sarah, on the other hand, emphasized the importance, and necessity, of sometimes staying apart from society and negative influences to one's Judaism and spiritual life. The key, I humbly believe now, is to marry the 2 - like the marriage of Avraham and Sarah. Spend some time learning and praying, if not for a year in Israel, then once a day or even once a week. Observe Jewish holidays and Shabbat. Eat a bit differently and live a bit differently then the way the rest of society dictates. Emulate our mother Sarah. But on the other hand, we must be involved in the world. Avraham taught us the importance of engaging the world and uplifting it. Not being brought down by it but fixing it up. We must emulate Avraham as well. The balance of these 2 paths, of separation but inclusion as well, is what has kept Jews so vibrant and strong in their identity throughout history, and yet has made their mark on the world around them with such power & beauty.

Good luck in your journey! Shabbat Shalom!

-Daniel