The Struggler

"I wish I was better."


How often, when reflecting, do we wish we could be that better person?
The life of the average person who wants to improve his character, can often be a frustrating one. "How come whenever I feel a bit more refined than usual, more inspired and genuine, do I fall right back down into desiring things that aren't good for me? Why did G-d Make me with such strong negative impulses?"

In the year 1797, Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi published a book of Jewish Mysticism, entitled "Tanya." In Tanya, Rabbi Shneur Zalman revolutionized the way we must view our struggles with our negative impulses. He explains: “Who said God Wants you to be a tzaddik (completely righteous person)? God Wants you to struggle! Humanity's hero is the Beinoni (the struggler), not the tzaddik."

There's an ancient story that might help illustrate this idea:
There was once an elderly Chinese woman, who everyday would walk with 2 buckets to the river to retrieve water. One bucket was whole, while the other was filled with holes. The bucket full of holes began to feel terrible. It cried to its master: “I’m such a failure! I’m such a loser! Every day when you return, I barely have a 1/3 of the water of a regular bucket!” The lady replied: “Tomorrow, I want you to look at your surroundings." So the next day, the lady ventures off to the river as usual with her 2 buckets. But this time, the bucket with holes looks around, and notices a vast array of beautiful flowers. “Wow! How nice are these flowers!” The lady turns to the bucket and says: “It's because of your holes, that they are watered.”
~~~
One mustn't view his or her imperfections, blemishes, negative impulses and desires, as a curse. Rather, they are God's challenges that one must struggle with & work to overcome, thereby bringing great light into the world - beautiful flowers.
As long as one only pays attention to his/herself, than it's easy to become despondent. “How come I can never be good, holy, perfect, living a life of serenity and tranquility!?
Why do I always have stuff to work on?”
The Answer is, life is not just about your bucket! It’s about what G-d Wants you to achieve in this world.
He Wanted you to have a negative side. And He Wants you to struggle with it, to work to refine this animalistic side you have. To struggle with our negative sides isn’t bad - it's heroic! What’s bad is when we don't care, and we allow ourselves to fall prey to our animalistic side and become selfish and destructive.
But if we're confronting it and dealing with our animal nature, than we're on the right track.
So let's keep struggling - and let's do it with a smile!

Shabbat Shalom!

-Daniel